Dr. Who always seems to have strange experiences in familiar places. Burns Night 2011 was a bit like that. Here in porkandcabbageland there are some fans who organise a Burns Night. There is even someone who has gone to the trouble of translating Burns into the local dialect. So, off I went, dragging along my friend for what promised to be an interesting experience if nothing else.
There they were, almost 300 porkandcabbagelanders with a smattering of suitably kilted Scottish Ladies with their leader the redoubtable 86 year old Ruth. She had the frilliest blouse as befits her status as chieftain of the waltzcityscottishladies. We had not ordered haggis in advance and so we had to order from the standard bill of fare. We had pork. And lettuce. The evening started with Burns songs as set by Beethoven, Haydn, Schumann, Mendelssohn and others. Then the haggis was ceremoniously piped in by the first waltzcity pipe and drum. Oh yes, they have their very own pipe band. A father and son. Not Scottish.
Our neighbours had ordered haggis and we watched them shrink as if the haggis was going to jump off the plate and wrap itself round their head and press their brains out through their ears. The haggis looked like its normal furry cute self. However, it was served with mashed potatoes done the porkandcabbageland way - that is to say sloppy, very sloppy, like school dinner semolina. Turnip is not a recognised vegetable in porkandcabbageland. There are few recognised vegetables. So, our haggis and potato flavoured semolina dish was completed with a spoonful of sliced carrots. Once the first forkfuls of the puddin' race chieftain were tasted, the fear dissipated and they gobbled it up, as well they should.
The next part of the evening was mainly Burns songs given the blues treatment and translated into waltzcity dialect. My highlight was one song done in German German, Swiss German, Waltzcitydialect and Lallans. They have promised us a translation of Tam o Shanter for next year. My friend went home and ordered Eddie Reader's Burns album.
There they were, almost 300 porkandcabbagelanders with a smattering of suitably kilted Scottish Ladies with their leader the redoubtable 86 year old Ruth. She had the frilliest blouse as befits her status as chieftain of the waltzcityscottishladies. We had not ordered haggis in advance and so we had to order from the standard bill of fare. We had pork. And lettuce. The evening started with Burns songs as set by Beethoven, Haydn, Schumann, Mendelssohn and others. Then the haggis was ceremoniously piped in by the first waltzcity pipe and drum. Oh yes, they have their very own pipe band. A father and son. Not Scottish.
Our neighbours had ordered haggis and we watched them shrink as if the haggis was going to jump off the plate and wrap itself round their head and press their brains out through their ears. The haggis looked like its normal furry cute self. However, it was served with mashed potatoes done the porkandcabbageland way - that is to say sloppy, very sloppy, like school dinner semolina. Turnip is not a recognised vegetable in porkandcabbageland. There are few recognised vegetables. So, our haggis and potato flavoured semolina dish was completed with a spoonful of sliced carrots. Once the first forkfuls of the puddin' race chieftain were tasted, the fear dissipated and they gobbled it up, as well they should.
The next part of the evening was mainly Burns songs given the blues treatment and translated into waltzcity dialect. My highlight was one song done in German German, Swiss German, Waltzcitydialect and Lallans. They have promised us a translation of Tam o Shanter for next year. My friend went home and ordered Eddie Reader's Burns album.
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